The great news is that there is now a team of four in place to establish The Empathy Foundation.

We are writing a draft Charter and creating an initial structure which will allow us to launch the EF as an organisation.

Once the draft Charter of the Empathy Foundation is written it will be circulated widely to attract feedback and comment and help the foundation to evolve.

Are you inspired to help set up the Empathy Foundation systems?

One key goal of the EF is to become the global online hub for resources related to empathy. People are already sending in their thoughts and references about empathy. There’s lots to do to get these systems in place and record the research in an accessible way.

We are seeking team members who are inspired by the Empathy Foundation vision and would be interested  to donate their time and expertise to setting up the information systems and administration of the project.

“The human brain and heart that are met primarily with empathy in the critical early years cannot and will not grow to choose a violent or selfish life.” Robin Grille, Parenting for a Peaceful World

Modern research shows that the capacity for empathy is directly related to the experience of empathy which a child receives, that the capacity for empathy can be grown and that more empathic people treat others and the earth with more care.

The Empathy Foundation will provide a platform from which to spread understanding of the importance of
empathy, as the key to creating a world that is environmentally sustainable, socially just and spiritually fulfilling.

What are the goals of the Empathy Foundation?

The Empathy Foundation will act as a not for profit organization with the mission of spreading the understanding of the importance of empathy, and the ability to practice it, to the future of humankind on the planet. It acts as a not-for-profit educational and training organization which creates programs that communicate, motivate and train people in a wide range of settings to effectively practice and grow
their capacity for empathy.

These programs are designed to bring about understanding of the dysfunctional behaviour of people,
such as those reasons stemming from childhood experience, as well as how to progress into the future by transforming the way children are raised.

The Empathy Foundation will bring cultural change to all levels of human groups and organizations
by targeting a broad range of society from families to schools, workplaces, the arts, government and business. It will transform how people relate to each other in organizations of all kinds by fostering the practical expression of empathy.
People will be empowered and will help each other to learn and grow and be more collaborative, creative and effective.

What will the Empathy Foundation do?

There are two major aspects envisaged as the work of the Empathy Foundation – communication of the
empathy message broadly in society and creating empathy training programs to suit a wide range of sections of society.

The Empathy Foundation’s message will be communicated through many media and platforms using high level modern communication methods. For example, the first Empathy Foundation talk “Can Empathy Save the World?” at the Early Childhood Australia conference in 2008 introduced the project and attracted interest from experienced early childhood leaders.

The Empathy Foundation’s training programs will be designed to easily fit with current models in professional development and other training and self-development programs for private citizens, such as parent training programs. This training is uniquely contexted in the new historical understanding that the evolution of childrearing leads the evolution of society. It will present the evidence that human
conflict and dysfunctional behaviours originate from childhood emotional development and our new knowledge as a species of how to raise empathic children and the benefits. The training will give highly effective ways to release limiting emotions and go beyond our personal childhood conditioning. By
dropping limiting emotions people are enabled to relate with empathy towards each other, and so to foster collaboration and maximize the potential for growth, creativity and effectiveness.

What does the Empathy Foundation make possible?

That “empathy training” becomes a household word and a part of the education of every
parent and school child and member of the public from the police to administrative officers, from education to business and the arts. At every level it would be understood and accepted that empathy is essential to humanity developing in a just and sustainable way. Fostering and protecting empathy will be paramount in government policy at all levels. A truly transformative understanding will become widely adopted - that the future of humanity is determined by our ability to raise emotionally healthy, empathic children, to foster a healthier, more creative generation than has ever been seen on earth, who will become the source of the rapid changes that are needed for a sustainable and just future
for humanity.

Read more about Alice’s talk Can Empathy Save the World? here.

See more about this eagerly awaited conference for people who work with young children, and for all those who are interested in young children’s wellbeing here.

by Alison Gopnik, Andrew Meltzoff and Patricia Kuhl

“Most of us see a picture of innocence and helplessness: a clean slate. But, in fact, what we see in the crib is the greatest mind that has ever existed, the most powerful learning machine in the universe.”

This book is an account of, and an attempt to explain, babies’ and toddlers’ capacities and methods of learning about the world. The central themes may be summarized as follows:

(1) The human brain is like a computer, but a far more sophisticated and powerful one than has ever yet been designed or programmed by human beings.

(2) Human brains are extremely flexible, plastic and sensitive to environmental influences. We are born with a considerable amount of pre-existing knowledge, but more importantly, we have a remarkable ability to learn and adapt.

(3) There is no dichotomy between ‘nature’ and ‘nurture’. “For human beings, nurture is our nature.” Cultural adaptations are as much the product of our brains as the control of universal physiological functions. Evolution has not only created babies with a remarkable ability to learn, but adults with a remarkable ability to teach their children.

(4) Other animals are born with a wider range of pre-existing adaptations to a specific type of environment; human beings are born with a greater capacity to develop adaptations to any of an extremely wide variety of environments: both social and physical.

(5) The price paid by human beings for this greater adaptability is that we are more helpless at birth than most other animals, and undergo a much longer period of immaturity and need for support from parents and other adults.

(6) Despite this helplessness and dependence, infants are not just ‘blank slates’ to be written on by adults. They “think, observe and reason. They consider evidence, draw conclusions, do experiments, solve problems and search for the truth…even the youngest babies know a great deal about the world and actively work to find out more” (p. 13).

(7) The things that children need to learn about come into three broad categories: knowledge about people, knowledge about things, and knowledge about language.

Read more of this review here: http://human-nature.com/nibbs/03/gopnik.html

How often does a parenting book come along that is as compellingly researched and historically in-depth as Robin Grille’s Parenting for a Peaceful World? If taken seriously by parents, teachers, communities and government, it is a book that has the potential to achieve profound evolution and revolution in world peace, human rights and environmental sustainability.

Read the rest of this excellent review here:

http://www.naturalparenting.com.au

/flex/parenting-themed-book-reviews/7777/parenting-for-a-peaceful-world-book-review.cfm

“Our understanding of early childhood development has grown so rapidly in recent years that we can now say the following with unprecedented confidence: The human brain and heart that are met primarily with empathy in the critical early years cannot and will not grow to choose a violent or selfish life.”

Empathy is the practice of ways that nourish the growth of self-mastery or awareness in ourselves and others.

Empathy is the sense that we are the same, we are all somewhere along the growth path to becoming continuously conscious.

With empathy we see everyone as equal. We know we are unable to judge our relative positions on the human growth path, so we accept what is right now.

The Empathy Practice

• the practice of relating to yourself and others with acceptance and compassion
• aspiring to experience the same caring and compassion for every person
• the understanding that we are all equally human
• arises from the understanding that the growth of every one of us is equally important and valuable for human evolution and happiness
• acknowledges the empathic centres of the human brain as the most precious structures on Earth, and  therefore we learn to become constant gardeners of these empathic structures.
• aspires to create a nourishing growth environment for every person we are with, no matter what their state or behavior
• doesn’t expect immediate change in the outer behaviour of others as a result of the practice
• comes from the understanding  that our empathy will nourish and heal others, and allows the effects to unfold in their own time.

Benefits of the Practice of Empathy

• we feel happy! Being a nourishing environment for ourselves and others releases our “happiness biochemistry”
• stress and fear reduce and disappear – we have less cortisol and adrenalin in our blood, our health improves, bad cholesterol drops, sugar balance improves, we have less mood swings
• our empathic brain grows and we find it easier and easier to feel empathy
• we like people more, and they like us better too
• we are less affected if people don’t like us
• we become less reactive to others misbehaviour; we feel less outrage, annoyance, irritation, anger
• we experience less criticism, pride, shame and guilt
• we have more energy
• we feel more freedom
• we have more energy for the actions that matter to us
• our work goes better
• we sleep better

To spread the word that practicing empathy is the most powerful action that we can take to ensure a sustainable, socially just and peaceful world.

To promote the growth and repair of the empathy centres of the human brain which allow loving relationships with people and the Earth.

To help people to release the emotional blocks caused by not having their emotional needs met.

To describe the research about the emotional needs of young children and how to meet those needs.

To spread the understanding that a strong empathic brain :

·is essential to relating in a loving way to ourselves and others

· assists us to contribute our unique and true creative work

· supports a healthy and harmonious relationship with nature

To promote the following understandings:

· That relating with understanding and kindness, to ourselves, children and other adults is the key to a sustainable environment, social justice and world peace for all humanity.

· That relating with appropriate forms of respect and kindness, and trust in the innate goodness and knowingness present in everyone, builds the capacity of the empathic brain of both giver and receiver.

· That appropriate forms of empathically relating to ourselves and others are able to be learned and practiced

· That to learn and practice the specific skills of treating ourselves and others with emapthy is the greatest possible act of peace creation, and activism for a sustainable environment.

To promote the irrefutable research-based findings that:

· the capacity of the “empathic brain centres” is the key factor which allows people to relate to others with kindness and compassion.

· treating children with empathy builds the empathic capacity of the human brain, thus the ability to have healthy caring relationships with people and the earth

· authoritarian parenting does not meet the emotional growth needs of children and measurably stunts the growth of the empathic capacity

· adults whose empathic centres are stunted are more prone to addictions, rage and violence

· there is powerful connection between authoritarian and abusive parenting styles and the social ills of injustice, over-consumption, autocratic leaders and gullible followers, crime and violence, and disregard for and over exploitation of the environment.

· relating to babies and young children with respect and kindness, as a loving guide or helpful parent, and meeting their emotional needs, is the key to bringing up emotionally healthy people.

· meeting the psychological needs of human children has profoundly positive effects on society

Would it be possible to live in a no-blame world of one, of your own? What would happen? Could you try it out!

What have you got to lose?

Imagine scenarios in which you step out of Blaming Mode into No-Blame Mode.

Ask yourself – what would happen in this situation if I came from no-blame?

Releasing your emotional reactions is a vital step towards having a no-blame stance. The Sedona Method is a perfect tool to use for this.

Q &A

1. Wouldn’t a no-blame approach be irresponsible? Isn’t it letting people, who should be held accountable, “get away with” wrong doing?

No-blame doesn’t mean no-action. It doesn’t mean not intervening to prevent harm being done. No-Blame simply means that you come from the understanding that doing harm is not the motivation of the harmful behaviour.

Relating to each other without blame and shame could be describes as seeing each other as innocent.

Innocent literally means “not harming”. A No-Blame stance comes from the understanding that most misbehavior, if not all, by children and adults, is not motivated by wanting to harm others – rather it is motivated by self-protection.

There is evidence for this! Sydney psychologist Robin Grille’s wonderful book Parenting for a Peaceful World is a great reference on this topic. Robin clearly and extensively lays out the evidence about the emotional needs of babies and young children and the effects of them not being met.

In essence, the less children’s emotional needs are met, the more self protecting they become and the less able to empathise and understand the effect of their behaviour on others. These are measurable effects on the structures of the frontal lobes of the brain that support empathy. Lack of an appropriate emotional environment as children has been shown to produce people whose brains are stunted with regard to treating others with respect and care.

The evidence is that the more someone who is behaving from self protection is blamed and criticised the more they will misbehave! So blaming does not produce the desired result.

2. Will a no-blame stance prevent frustration?

Interesting question. It appears that very young babies do get frustrated by their powerlessness. At least they express discomfort and what appears to us adults to be frustration. Babies are incapable of blame, and when there is no blame things that are not to your liking simply are what they are. The next step then is simple - respond to what is in whatever way you can to help move things in the desired direction. A baby expressing discontent then is doing the only thing it can do to move things along. Is this frustration? Maybe – it certainly isn’t blaming.

Please respond with comments and further responses to this interesting question!

And please send me more questions for us all to consider.

In No-Blame world, people are keen to offer help, so when they see that someone obviously doesn’t know how to behave in a particular place, No-Blamers just think “oh, they don’t; know what to do here yet” and they help that person as best they can to learn to be relaxed, at ease and effective in the situation.

With people who’ve grown up in No-Blame World, learning and teaching are very easy, because when they go to a new place or do a new thing they trust people to help them to learn what they need to know.

A group of people born in No-Blame World will get on really well with each other very quickly even if they’ve just met or some of them don’t know much about what they’re doing. It’s really easy and natural for no-blamers to learn from each other no matter what their age or skill difference. It’s so simple! One person knows something, the other one doesn’t. There’s no shame or blame for not knowing, so why should there be any issue when the one who knows helps the one who doesn’t? The other feature of No-Blame World is that the inhabitants greatly enjoy helping people to learn new things. Equally No-Blamers enjoy learning new things themselves. In fact No-Blamers are “addicted” to helping people and to being helped. They love both sides of this game so they’re always looking for chances to play!

Sound like Utopia?

Maybe it is…lets explore it a little more…..

Visitors do come to “No-Blame” world from “Blaming” worlds, and then it gets interesting.

Blaming worlds are places where, when you do what other people like or approve of, they call you “good” and praise you, and when you do something they don’t like or disapprove of, they call you “bad” and blame you.

On blaming worlds, people feel bad when they don’t know something, because they are told from when they are babies that they are not as good as the people who do know that thing. This happens even if the ones who know are much older or the ones who don’t know have never had a chance to learn the thing anyway. On blaming worlds, the ones who know something or have a skill, feel superior to the ones who don’t know or don’t have so much skill. “Blame-Worlders” are scared of not knowing something because it makes them feel bad and another blamer will blame them for not knowing (even if there was no way they could have known anyway).

Blame-Worlders you see are always trying to avoid blame from others and to give blame to others. Blame-Worlders are addicted to blaming and feeling blamed. The funny thing is that one of their main ways of stopping other people blaming them is to blame themselves first! So they will blame themselves when they don’t know something or can’t do something. It’s funny that they do that because blaming themselves is painful too. But most painful of all is being publicly blamed. Having someone else hear you being blamed or joining in and blaming you too is terribly painful to Blame-Worlders. Because they have learned that being blamed is the most horrible awful thing that can happen to you, for Blame-Worlders blaming themselves in advance and maybe heading off the blame of multiple people seems to be worth it. By blaming yourself first you might stops others knowing about something “blameworthy”. The trouble with this is that Blame-Worlders feel they have to keep blaming themselves over and over in case someone finds out and blames them. So over all Blamers usually get much more blame from themselves than from anyone else!

All this makes it very hard for Blamers to learn anything. First they have to hide that they don’t know it already because it’s shameful not to know and they will attract blame for it. So the one who doesn’t know something has a dilemma, it’s a risk showing they don’t know and it’s a risk if they don’t find out before it gets out that they don’t know. If a Blamer does ask for help, the Blamer they ask will want to blame them for not knowing more than to teach them. When Blame-Worlders do teach, they always mix it up with blaming, so the learner, who is also a Blame-Worlder, can’t learn much because they are busy blaming the teacher for blaming them!!!!!!! It gets very complicated this blaming thing on Blaming World.

Things get interesting when one person is a No-blamer and the other is a Blame-Worlder. Let’s start with imagining a Blame-Worlder visiting No-Blame World. The Blame-World visitor doesn’t know how to behave, but hides that fact so as not to be blamed. The No-blamer doesn’t blame people for not knowing anyway. They find it a bit confusing that the Blaming person behaves strangely when they don’t ask what to do or pretend to know what to do when they obviously don’t. The No-blamer naturally points out the things than the Blame-World visitor doesn’t seem to know, but not very effectively because they find it hard to see what the Blamer needs to know, because they are hiding it. The Blaming visitor feels bad, even though they’re not blamed, because they think they’re going to be blamed any minute and anyway they always feel bad if they don’t know something that other people know. Basically that means Blamers are always tense and unhappy when they visit a new place or do anything new. The overall outcome in this scenario then, is that the Blamer is unhappy; the No-Blamer is neutral – not as happy as they would be if they could properly share their knowledge, but not blaming anyone for that, neither the visitor nor themselves, they easily let it go and are really quite unaffected.

Now let’s imagine the opposite visit:…..

A No-Blame Worlder visits Blaming World. Being a No-blamer, when they don’t know what to do, they simply ask. The Blamer says (or looks) how stupid the No-Blamer is for not knowing. The No-Blamer visitor assumes the Blamer has a good reason for making these disparaging statements or gestures, so doesn’t blame anyone for them. The No-Blamer learns what they can from this blaming person, then moves on to another person, until they find out what they need to know. The Blamer may be frustrated by the No-Blamer’s questions, may blame them for not knowing, will be likely to go through all sorts of reactions to the No-blamer’s ‘ignorance’ or ‘annoying’ questions, or just the hassle of having to deal with strangers that she shouldn’t have to deal with etc. Does the No-Blamer get frustrated in Blaming world? Not really, you see they don’t do blaming at all, so who or what would they get frustrated with? Not a person, not the system, not themselves, not the weather, not God….. So again the outcome seems to be that the No-blamer is calm and fully able to do whatever is most helpful and possible in the existing circumstances ……. and the No-blamer, what is their experience like? What do you think?

Does this story sound like any place you know?