Case Study 2:
The Magic of Releasing for Relationships
with One's Self and Others
Jackie was attracted to coaching after a crisis in her relationship when she was severely rejected by her partner who had ‘thrown her out’ of ‘his’ house which they had shared for 2 years. She was experiencing intense feelings of grief, sadness and anger. She was also lonely and finding it very difficult to be at home alone, so she was over socialising, neglecting self-care and compromising her ability to carry on with her busy working life as a secondary teacher.
Jackie found releasing her very strong emotional reactions allowed her to see her former partner clearly as a person with his own needs. As she released her anger and sadness, she became able to find understanding for his behaviour and to be less affected by it. This enabled her to be clear and strong with him and set firm boundaries for how she would allow herself to be treated. She became able to care for herself again in many ways including establishing her yoga and meditation practice again, and to re-engage in a more balanced way in society.
For Jackie releasing flowed very naturally. Initially she released very consciously and found herself becoming much more open and lighter. She later became able to easily remember to release, and even respond to situations and emotions as they arose by releasing automatically, at times in the middle of busy moments, and experienced the amazing result of rapidly feeling light and free. She said: “Releasing is an amazing tool. It’s become a natural way of being. The real test is when it just happens in the moment. You’re just doing it and feeling better, then notice afterwards that you’ve been releasing without thinking about it.”
Jackie has become very aware of her energy and that of others. When she is aware of others putting a lot of negative energy into a “problem”, she doesn’t join in with them any more, because she can see that it obstructs her energy flow.
She says: “I choose differently now and don’t choose to interrupt the energy flow by lamenting. I can see differently now, and see a lot of people putting so much energy into trying to figure out who’s at fault or blaming. I am mindful of not being a smartarse. I practice using restraint with others, being mindful, and find that easier now as I am in touch with compassion and wisdom so much more, since practicing releasing my emotions.
People have asked me what I’m doing because they have seen the change in me. They say I seem much more centered and happier, that my voice has a strength that comes from within. I feel it is true when they say it. My voice resonates and has an energy in itself.”
Jackie now has a friendly relationship with her ex-partner. She feels a lot of love and acceptance for him, and when she sees him is able to be clear and not allow herself to be treated in ways that are unacceptable to her.
In her work Jackie had very successful outcomes, with her students achieving among the highest results in their final year exams, which she attributed to her use of releasing and teaching them how to release their feelings and access greater calmness.
SOME QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS:
Q: Jackie, what would you say yourself about how you’ve changed?
A: I’ve grown so much with your guidance and coaching, and the practical activities and the way you connect with me as a person. You’re honest, so it’s not all airy fairy. It isn’t just fuzzy feel good. You’ve drawn my attention to things I need to be doing. I’m feeling settled in myself and enjoying my self.
Q: How would you say you’ve grown?
A: In my relationships with people, my courage, to be able to make a statement and not fear that I won’t be accepted. The releasing is so spot on. I have had a massive fear that I won’t be accepted and the releasing has helped me so much.
Q: What difference has coaching made?
A: I’m breathing with more consciousness of the moment. And it’s because of you. You are the conduit at a spiritual and a practical level too. You have the capacity to do it. You are a life energy coach. People hear life coach and have a stereotype. . When I say I’m getting some life coaching, some people react like it’s some kind of gimmick. When I explain what it is, it actually makes sense to them. I use the metaphor of an athlete. There has to be some discipline and a training regime at least. Why are we so bound up that we think: “I couldn’t possibly receive some help from someone with my life, which is the most important thing?” A colleague has observed me and she said you seem so much better this year. Even though I don’t see you at the moment, I’ve got my white folder with all the notes from our sessions and I’ll go back and read and I’ve incorporated it into my life. You’ve touched me in deep ways; with your openheartedness you’ve guided me into a new world.
Q: What kind of a world is that?
A: It’s a world where I live in and incorporate my philosophy, incorporating the spirit of prayer and of meditation into my life. It’s a world where you’ve empowered me to look at myself and my life in a different way. That’s an ongoing thing. Your life is your most important work that’s what you’ve taught me. That’s a most empowering thing. The answers the questions and the problems all lie within, through this scaffolding of skills to deal with things in life, I feel more empowered.
Q: Who would you recommend life coaching for and why?
A: I would recommend your life coaching to anyone, whether a child or an elderly person. Because in the life journey and at different stages we have different needs. The beauty of the Sedona Method or the beauty of the way that you’re approaching life coaching; it is energy coaching. You’re saying the energy remains there within us and it is life energy. It’s different because it’s constantly changing and we need to nurture it and you’ve given me the skills and the techniques and you’ve opened my mind to see what’s possible.
This is what you do. You’re amazing, I know that you prepare for coaching sessions, but what actually happens is flowing and spontaneous and quite beautiful. It would almost be like saying it’s a moment of shared intimacy where people connect and are able to make sense of their life.
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